Screwed.edu
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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