It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
