honey bunches of taint.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
