Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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