Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
