She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
