I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
