I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
