I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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