how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
