I want to walk on stilts...naked
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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