We're like a lot better than the average bears
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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