Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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