I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
