Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
