I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
