I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
