I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
