Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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