Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
