I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
