how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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