About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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