Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
