He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
