At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
