i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
