so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
