We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
