I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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