it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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