Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
sex in a hospital.. check
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
