there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
