We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
