when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
