im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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