I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
