I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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