A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
