found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
