Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
