I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
