we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
