First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
