It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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