I'm going to jail i love you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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