Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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