i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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