i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
