Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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